Things have been less than great lately.

About the same time it was confirmed that I was moving down here to London, my mom was re-diagnosed with cancer. Her breast cancer from a few years back has made a reappearance and has spread to her bones and who knows where else.

I've had a hard time allowing myself to become attached to London because part of me knows I should still be at home helping out when I'm needed most.

However, the other part of me believes that me moving is not the bad thing that it seems - it's time my family learned to exist without me always there. Of course I'm around when need be, but they can not always use me as their crutch. In this case I refer more to my brother and dad than my mom - I know she needs me more than ever. However, I'm sure part of her doesn't want me to get sucked into babying my brother and father forever either.

I have a hard time dealing with being sad. I don't allow it to be a part of my life. It gets in the way of going about my daily routine and makes me not want to be around people. I get annoyed at myself when my emotions take over. However, I don't set aside time to reflect on whats going on either.

I'm planning to do a fundraiser in the spring - I'm going to shave my head in support of breast cancer research. I'm going to raise money for a few months before hand and then in the spring perhaps have a gathering of sorts to do the actual shave. I haven't worked all the details out yet.

That being said, if anyone out there that reads my ramblings wants to contribute a prize or something for the whole thing let me know. Maybe a picture or photo or something like that that would go to the highest donator?? Or, if anyone else out there wants to join me in my hairless quest let me know.